Ellie.

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You know that feeling you get when you really want to help but you know that no matter how hard you try, you just can't? Well I have that feeling rigth now.
And you know when that feeling gets so deep and so passionate, you just can't do anything else?
Yeah. I've got that feeling bad.
I want to write. I SHOULD be writing. i told people I'd update and I'm not. I've tried, believe me, but I just can't. Not right now.
It makes me feel hopeless. I want to help to help but I cjust can't.
So now, I'm jsut letting you know that I care. Even if i can't help. Even if there's nothing I can do. I still care.

Epic fail.

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Yeah. Okay. Writing a happy song that isnt about love is harder than I imagined. Apologies for any hurtful words I said.
My attempt was so hideous and horrible that I will not even think about posting it on here.

Haha.

xo

Why?

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Why isn't there any punk/rock/hardcore songs about just being happy?
looking back on that sentence now, it sounds very ridiculous to me. But seriously, I want one!
I was lookng for a good some so I can post the lyrics on my myspace. You know, that sort of song that represents how you feel?
Well I found nothing.
Don't get me wrong, there are some excellent songs around. It's jsut that most of the bands I love don't sing abouu happy things. You know what I'm saying?
My Chemical Romance, for example. The happiest song I found was All I Want For Christmas Is You, and they didn't write that song.
Thats saying something, isn't it?
so anyway, I thought to myself; How hard can it be to write a happy song?
So i sat down and tried to write a happy song.
It was then that I discovered it is indeed, quite difficult.
So then I figured, well just cause I mainly like punk music doesn't mean I can't like other music. So i searched my playlists, and I couldn't find any songs that weren't the slightest bit sad. At least, none that weren't centered on love.

The ones that I could find were-
Pictures by Sneaky Sound System (But hell, I don't really know whatthat song is about anyway. And yes, I do understand it is about pictures. That's nt really hat I'm getting at.)
U Can't Touch This - MC Hammer (This song loses point for spelling 'you' like that)
Hey Ya - Outcast (Although I can't really understand what he says anyway)
Dancing with Myself - Billy Idol (I don't quite know if this is happy. Dancing with MYSELF sounds kinda gross if you get me, and also it sounds kind of lonely. So This one is undecided.)
If You Like Pina Colada - Jimmy Buffett (Not quite sure about this. It's abotu a guy getting bored of his wife, looking for a new one in the paper and then going ona date and finding out the lady was his wife all along. It's got a happy ending I suppose...)

And the ultimate winners of happy songs from my playlists are:

Good Times - Tommy Lee
and
Pork and Beans - Wheezer.

Good times is about good memories I suppose. It's not about happiness, but it will do. And Pork and Beans isn't really about happiness at all, but it makes me feel so good when I listen to it.
'I'ma do the things that I want to do.'
*Sigh* I love it.

Anyway, It's like being in love is the only thing that can make people happy or something. So I am going to write a happy song. XD (I am assuming this will fail.) I'll post it in a new blog soon.

until then, adious amegous.. (Sp?)

Hmm...

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I guess I was a teensy bit angry when I wrote my last post.

I decided that I'm not gonna use this blog as a daily journal anymore. That idea failed miserabely and it was very difficult for me to keep p and stuff, so I'm just gonna update whenever I feel like it.

Today, it's the start of a 2 week school vcation. I love school holidays ^_^
I had alot of plans for today, but they didn't work out. It rained (As it has been doing for the past 3 weeks)so I don't think I'll be going down to the park or down to the lake with my sketch book and reading book anytime soon. Maybe I'll go to the park later in the afternoon when the weather has cleared up a bit.

For the meantime, however, I'm updating this blog and hopefully posting a few new chapters of some ofmy quizilla stories. I know Ihave to update Drop The Dagger twice and write 2 oneshots. I also have to update Tear My Heart Open, Make Me Laugh, and my new Jack Sprrow story, I'll Drink My Rum and Shoot My Pistol.
This is gonna take a while.

Well.... Easter on Sunday. I'm very excited :D
Not so much because of chocolate, but becaus the day after that, Me, my dad, my mum and my friend, Bronte, may be going up to the Gold Coast (About four hours north of where I live) for a few nights and going to some theme parks and stuff. Should be pretty damn good.

So now, I should go back to writing Drop The Dagger which I actually don't really feel like writing right now.

Oh well. =]

People

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I'm sick of people. Period.

I'm sick of people THINKING tht they care about others, when really, they only care abotu themselves.

Anyone can solve someone else's problem.
Anyone.
But it takes a speical person to solve their own problems...

So you think you're right when you have 28 people saying you're wrong? Where is the logic in that?
And then, then you just make a HUGE deal out of something so small. Oh my god, someone is actully STANDING UP TO YOU FOR ONCE. Wow!
Now I understand that you thought you were right. I understand you being angry at me for disagreeing with you.
What I DON'T understand is-
Why you are acting like such a babyish child and ignoring me.
Why you stormed off and started bitching about how I (And also, everybody else)was wrong.
Why you decided slamming my penicl case on the desk would help/get me angry in any way.
Why you think I don't trust you, which then led you to inform everyone within a metre perimetre that you don't trust me.
Why you think I SHOULD trust you if everytime something extremmely small happens, you go around telling everyone how much of a stubborn, idiot bitch I am and that don't trust me.
Why you then proceeded to tell people how I am ALWAYS wrong, and you are ALWAYS right, when cleary, neither of those things are true.
Why you are taking something that EVERYONE sees as small and unimportant so seriously.
Why you are ignoring Casey for agreeing with me, yet you are not ignoring the whole class, who also agreed with me.
Why you can't confront me about this problem, and must go around confronting other people.
Why you can't just allow us to agree to disagree.
Why you can't just get the fuck over it, as I TRIED to, yet you persisted.
Why can't you just accept the fact that I think you are wrong and you think you are right. I am NEVER going to tell you that you were right and mean it, so you're going to be ignoring me for a hell of a long time.





So you think that your life is just oh-so miserable?
Why?
1. You only have a few friends.
2. You hate school.
3. You hate your life.
4. You don't get along well with your parents.
Is your life really that fucking bad? Seriously?
No it's not.
You could make friends if you had a better attitude about everything. Every single thing you seem to find a flaw in. I'm sorry that the few friends you have are just oh-so-horrible. You got into a fight with one of them.
A fight that could easily be resolved with a simple apology.
You're 'best friend' is just terrible, isn't she?
She always tells you HER problems. Everything's about HER. She doesn't care about YOU. She never ever listens to YOU. She COPIES your ideas. She STEALS them.
Well guess what? She's not going to tell you about HER problems anymore. You just complain about them. Everyone always throws their problems on me it's so horrible blah blah blah.
If people threw their problems on me, I would not be complaining. It means you're trusworhty. A good listener. Brilliant.
But no, none of that stuff is good enough for you. You just want everyone's problems to stop involving you. Well I have news for you, get over it.
Well nothing's about you. Is that right? Why isn't anything about you? Because you don't fucking tell peopple ANYTHING. Before you start complaining that nobody cares about you, maybe you should give them something to care about.
I'm so sorry that I complain to you. I KNOW you can't do anything about it, but it would be ncie if you were just happy to LISTEN. Obviously, that is just too much for you.

Oh no. You have to follow rules at school. RULES. Omg major fucking drama. You could try to enjoy it. You could, and don't you try to tell me you couldn't.
Who CARES how ugly the uniform is? DEAL WITH IT. You have 1 1/2 more years left. Suck it up. You want to get out, but you don't have a logical plan. You want to be a hairdresser or designer or beautiticion.
You try to find somewhere that pays GOOD MONEY when you have no year 10 certificate, no prior job exerience and no money to pay for rent or anything. The economy is going down fast enough as it is.
If you can't survive school without gettng suspended, I don't know how you are going to survive the workforce.
They make you do work at school. BIG DEAL. A large percentage of your life is going to be work.

You don't get along with your parents. Oh. No. Of course, in your mind, there's nothing you can do to change that, right? Wrong.
Of course there are things you can do. Be nicer. Stop complaning to them so much. I'm sure they have MORE problems then you do, whether you want to accept that or not.
Every thing you complain about can be made better. Fuck you if you think otherwise.




Wow. Are you really THAT fucking stupid?
You call me stupid. You call me ignorant. You call me ridiculous.
Do you even know what those words mean, or are they above your level?
Stop playing stupid. It doesn't make you cool. It doesn't make you interesting. It makes you a STUPID DUMBASS WHO NEEDS TO LEARN MORE WORDS APART FROM FUCK.



"Are you okay?"
Yeah I'm fine.
"No seriously, what's wrong?"
NOTHING IS FUCKING WRONG. OH MY GOD I'M NOT SMILING FOR ONCE. SUCH A MAJOR FUCKING DRAMA OH GOD SOMETHING MUST BE WRONG.
Something doesn't have to happen to make someone upset. PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED TO HAVE DIFFERNT MOODS SOMETIMES.
Oh my god, amber's angry for once, EVERYONE INVESTIGATE TO FIND OUT WHAT'S WRONG WITH HER.
Nothing is wrong. WHY CANT YOU JUST SEE THAT.




Wow. I'm sorry I copied your idea. I didnt realize it was sooooooo fucking important to you. I didnt realize that your shitty little words contained so MUCH emotion. I'm sorry. Really, I am.




Holy shit!! You're just SO fucking fat with your twig-like arms and HUMOUNGOUS praying mantis legs. Gosh lose some weight.




Don't take out your fucking anger on everyone else. Oh no someone pushed in front of you. Let's all chuck a giant anger fit and start swearing a tthe person, calling them names and being childish. THAT WILL SOLVE EVERYTHING.





People piss me off so much.
This is for people. People who do numerous things.

People who get SO angry over something so fucking small. Get over it.
People who control other people. Let them do what they WANT. If they're not complaining about it then it's none of your business to stop them doing something. I am an intelligent person. I know what risks are.
People who think EVERYTHIING is just SOOOOOOOOOO bad. It's not. It could be ALOT WORSE. Suck it up. Complani to people, sure. But don't go to such extremes. IT'S NOT FUCKING WORTH IT.
People who are stupid and act like it's not their fault, or just act even stupider. Of course it's your fault. You could try harder. Youc ould, but you don't. And now you have to pay the consequences.
People who lie ALL the time. It doesn't make you cool, not even a little bit.
People who are mean to EVERYONE all the time. Even when you're joking, it gets relly old really fast. One day smeone's gonna tell you off and you're not ging to like it.
People who complain abou tthings that they can easily change.
People who think that nothing is about them when it is.
People who don't care about anybody else's feelings.
People who are just all round annoying!

So, my dear people, this blog was for you.